Our Story
by vi0letharmon
Summary: ...
1. Chapter 1

October 21st 2018

So heres the thing, i haven't written anything in quite a long time now. I think about writing something every single day , i always say that i'll just do it tomorrow but then surprise surprise that tomorrow never comes. I guess you could chalk it up to a severe lack of motivation. Things have been grey , life has been just really really grey for the past while. Way too grey to write.

So whats changed? Why am i doing this now? I mean yes its a struggle, i feel a bit out of whack with the keyboard like we don't have that same rhythm we had before. I am strongly fighting the urge to look at my phone (its face down for good measure) and i'm willing my brain not to wander. I'm here with a purpose , a goal , to channel all my feelings and all my creative withdraws into one ambitious project. But before we get into things lets just take a little stroll down memory lane.

So the year is 2015 and i've just left school, just turned 18 and i am ready to start living. I had just gotten out of a pretty intense relationship that kind of left a sour taste in my mouth when it came to the whole dating thing. My plan was just to stay single and enjoy life, how hard could that be? Well we will see won't we.

This particular story starts the night i turned 18. It was a tuesday and i had already had my birthday party the previous weekend but since it was a special birthday i wanted to do something on the night as well. So there i was all dressed up and ready to go with my two best friends by my side. I remember it being a really fun night , granted i was very very drunk so i could've been at a funeral and had a pretty decent night. I remember turning around on the dance floor and not being able to find my friends and in my drunken state i instantly panic. Looking around the room i'm desperate to find a familiar face , literally anybody at all , and then i see someone i think i know but i heres the problem : i don't know if its him or his brother. I know his brother because he's dating one of the two friends i brought with me that night. Which would be totally justified if they looked anything alike , but thats not the case. So little drunk stupid me decides to just waltz up , interrupt his conversation and ask him if he was him or he was his brother , not my proudest moment.

He didn't falter , he entire aura was overflowing with unabashed confidence, i could see it surrounding him. I asked him if he had seen my friends since i'd lost them. He told me i didn't need to find my friends as i'd found him instead. His hand was now on my waist. Okay so now its time to think because there is two paths in front of me and i have to carefully decide which one i go down. Quickly its time to make a pros and cons list. Pros - he is attractive , he's clearly confident which is sexy , i'm a fan of kissing so that would be fun (especially while i'm drunk). Cons- he is definitely player , i mean this is clearly not his first rodeo if you know what i mean , he is still basically a stranger so theres that , he has already kissed one of my best friends (the one that is now dating his brother) (scandalous i know) and finally i'm drunk so there's that. I mean i don't know why i bothered thinking about it , i never stood a chance.

That was the beginning of it all, a drunken kiss in a nightclub spiralled into more than we both has bargained for.


	2. Chapter 2

October 23rd 2018

A few weeks later and he's added me on snapchat (well he's got me to add him) and he snaps me often. I wonder if he can tell i'm not trying , that i'm not interested. If i let this guy have something to do with me it will backfire no doubt about it , i know its a bad idea i can tell instantly.

But then i slip. About two weeks after i turn 18 i hit a huge wall. Something i've never told anyone about before. I started to hit the most self conscious time of my life. I'm not exactly sure where it came from but it hit pretty hard. I spent weeks thinking i was nothing and nobody , i thought i was too fat , too ugly , that i drank too much , etc etc. It wasn't great but then there was this guy that kept wanting to see me , surely i should give him a chance i mean he finds me attractive i can't fathom it.

So i agree to meet up with him and that really starts the whole thing. I see him a lot for the next few months , i liked spending time with him despite my reservations. Then all of a sudden he was my boyfriend and that my friends is when the whole thing turned to shit.

We soon realised that having insane chemistry wasn't actually enough to keep a relationship going , who would've thought? Apparently you need to have things like common interests and you apparently both actually have to want to be in a relationship. Shocking.

So as you can tell the breakup was inevitable. It was not nice , a silent car journey home ended in a dumping via text. And yes it was him that dumped me , i was too much for him , too up too down whatever you wanna call it. I couldn't even be mad because he was right , i was too much for him.

I really did expect that to be the last time i'd hear from him but then a few weeks later he's walking around town with me in the middle of the night. It was stupid on my part i don't know why but i just couldn't say no. Just don't kiss him , it won't matter if you don't kiss him. But then he's at his car and his hands are on my waist, oh shit.

I wait to hear from him the next day , and then following and then i realise its not gonna happen. I told you not to kiss him.


	3. Chapter 3

Im in my era of disliking you. I hear your name i roll my eyes , i see your face i turn around. You've hurt me but i don't want you to ever know so anytime i see you i have to act like i'm the biggest mistake you ever made. I don't really get my first chance until around 2 years later when i see you on a night out. You come over to talk to me and instantly i feel it , that feeling of satisfaction i'd been craving years before. I can see the way you're looking at me , god i wish i could have taken a picture of it. Then your hands are on my waist but guess what? This time you won't get to kiss me.

After that you make a quick cameo at the barndance , i sit beside you to have a quick chat and our chairs are too close. You're telling me you don't know how you ever broke up with me and i'm smiling because its like music to my ears. I have to make a speedy escape , i can't risk ruining all the progress i've made.

Then its months later and my best friends birthday. I come over and say hello and we talk , its nice and civil. Then you're drunk and sitting beside me on the bus , you're flirting ...a lot. We go inside the nightclub separately and when i see you next somehow you're even more drunk and now you're really flirting but also making no sense at all , a killer combination.

And finally its my friends going away party and i know there isn't enough people here for me to successfully avoid you. Especially when we go out and the group is a handful of people. As soon as i start drinking i warn my friends , do NOT let me kiss him , i know how i am when i drink. Thankfully it worked but i did flirt with you which definitely set me back a bit.

Thats how it worked you see , thats what you did to me. I was thinking it was some sort of competition of who could act like they cared less letting myself think i was winning so therefore i didn't care but thats not how it worked. Me letting myself over think every single encounter with you was me caring more than i would've ever liked to admit. But why? Why did i care? I know the answer now of course but it still drives me crazy that it took 3 years for me to figure it out.


End file.
